Hey there all. Since my trip to Ireland with The Waterford Gathering this June past, I have been smitten with the place and have taken even more of an interest in all things Irish! I have even written a poem which although personal, I would like to have critiqued by someone literary. I am a complete amateur so don't expect anything amazing ; ) Would anyone here be willing to give it a go? Warning! - I am very sensitive so go easy on me as it is only meant to be personal, well, at least for now ; ) Thanks.

Warm regards,

Fran

Views: 203

Tags: Poetry, poem

Comment by Lisa Fortin Jackson on November 3, 2013 at 6:28pm

Fran…I'm not a poet…but I do love poetry.  Are you on Facebook?  I'll try to find you. There is someone in Ireland who I think may be able to help you with that critique.  In the interim, I'd love to read it, if you'd like to send it along to me in a private message.  :)


Admin
Comment by Fran Reddy on November 3, 2013 at 8:01pm

Yes, you will find me on facebook.

Like I said, I am a complete amateur but this poem just came out of me and expresses the feelings the Emerald Isle brought out of me. I really would just like to know if anyone else likes it : )


Admin
Comment by Fran Reddy on November 4, 2013 at 10:02am

Here goes Lisa, be honest ;)

Your beauty has beguiled it seems,

Of mountainside patchwork fields I dream

Moody sky with clouds dark-clad

Give way to sun that warms hearts glad

Blooming pathways, hidden charm

The windswept way to hillside farm

Painted sheep dot sweeping hill

Listen to the swallows trill

Cattle graze amongst the green

Stop in place, the sight serene

Greens that gently touch the sea

Broken castles, history

 Locals seeming unaware

Accustomed to the grandeur there

Of hills majestic, rivers clear

The oceans wave, the heaven near

Taking, as it was, for granted

The glorious heaven God had planted

Pints are shared, friends in making

Songs and smiles, cares forsaking

Telling tales of ages passed

Reminisce, the spell is cast

In sleepy summer solstice long

I listened to the siren song

As magically she called from me

All vestige of my sanity

Every corner turned, my duty

Headlong into yet more beauty

Endless sky to endless sea

I lost myself and willingly

Misty rain on slopes of grey

I reveled in its gentle way

Feeling not the windy chills

My eyes, through tears, caressed the hills

Oh this place, so boldy swept

the soul from me, my heart it leapt

Golden valley before me sleeping 

Stirring soul within me, weeping

My life shall never be the same

Since Erin set my heart aflame

And stole my sense, with all good haste

Did wrest my soul and laid it waste

To long for Ireland evermore

Her sea and sky, sweet love and lore.

She’ll whisper me her lilting score

Until I tread her fields once more

Comment by Lisa Fortin Jackson on November 5, 2013 at 12:18am

OK, Fran…I'm going to be completely honest.  I think your poem is fantastic.  Really.  I read a lot of poetry.  Most poets prefer to write free-form, these days, I think.  It's extremely difficult to make a poem rhyme without its sounding cheesy or contrived, but you managed to pull it off.  Really nice use of imagery, as well.  In addition, it completely expresses the passion you have for Ireland, which I can very easily relate to.  I was there in August.  I took a solo photography trip over there, and spent  my time with other Irish photographers whom  I had met through various photography-related websites.  I spent ten days there.  My last night, in the hotel, I was completely disconsolate. Literally sobbing uncontrollably because I didn't want to leave.  My husband said that for a few minutes he was really concerned that I might not come back to the States.  LOL!  Since I've been back, my singular purpose has been to get myself back there.  I've convinced Stephen that we need to relocate there within the next few years, and I'm holding him to it.  It's the only place in the entire world where I've ever felt truly at home.

Anyway…your poem is really wonderful.  I'd like to share it on my Facebook wall if it's OK with you?  If not, I understand, but you have nothing to be shy about.  It's perfectly lovely.

Cheers,

Lisa


Admin
Comment by Fran Reddy on November 5, 2013 at 7:06am

(Blushing face emoticon here!) Wow, I never know what to do when someone compliments me... Thank you. I am so glad you think my poem is decent! But since you have the same sentiments as I do about Ireland (magic? ; ) then you would understand how I just had to get that down on paper to express some of it! I know what you mean about having to leave there! The soul just does not want to depart once it is home! At least you are actually relocating back! That won't likely happen for me as we have a large family and limited finances. But we share your singular purpose being getting ourselves back there! Amazing place...

Go ahead and share my poem, just make sure my name is with it! And thanks again!

Fran

Comment by Ryan O'Rourke on November 5, 2013 at 8:08am

I'm far from a poetry aficionado, Fran, but I really enjoyed it.  Thanks for sharing it here.

Comment by Ryan O'Rourke on November 5, 2013 at 8:12am

Fran, would you be willing to post the poem in a new blog along with your favourite photo that you captured on your trip here to Ireland?  Don't worry about getting the formatting / layout perfect as I can come behind you and sort all that for you.


Admin
Comment by Fran Reddy on November 5, 2013 at 8:34am

Wow! Yes, I can do that Ryan. So you like it to? Thank you. That's great! I'll get it done :)


Admin
Comment by Fran Reddy on November 5, 2013 at 8:59am

OK Ryan, it's posted.. go to work ;)

Comment by Ryan O'Rourke on November 5, 2013 at 9:13am

Great, Fran ... didn't need much formatting at all.  Thanks again.

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